Views from the Train
You get the idea. Roller coaster is one way to describe it, and not a bad way either. Just about every day since September 30 I’ve gone through at least one full cycle from “Damn, I really don’t want to leave: there are people who need us, there’s really good work we can do here, it’s a fascinating and truly beautiful country with tremendous history, and I’m not ready to give up yet” back over to “Oh god, I can’t take any more of this, get me out of here, and oh by the way tortilla chips do not exist in Sri Lanka and how can a Californian live without tortilla chips for longer than a few days???” And then usually back and forth a few more times, all in one day. That means as of today I’ve cycled through it all at least 24 times, and I’d have to say it’s more like 50 times that I’ve made my peace with leaving (“ok, we’ll visit the folks in Bargteheide, see the friends in Rome and Zurich, then eat torilla chips and bagels with jalapeno cream cheese every day for a month in San Francsico, then we’ll be ready to work in Sudan for six months”) then recommitted to staying, doing good work, keeping focused, keeping the national staff focused and energized and not too depressed or worried. I’ve had a few headaches, I gotta admit.